Washington, D.C.

To nobody’s surprise, Donald Trump has promised to launch an investigation into the widespread voter fraud that absolutely, 100% did not happen. The announcement came in the form of tweets, complete with the usual bad grammar and ALL CAPS mania common to the mentally unbalanced.


As we’ve written previously in this space, Trump got these ideas from the Facebook page of conspiracy theorist, Sandy Hook Truther and disgusting human being Alex Jones.

Three million votes in the U.S. presidential election were cast by illegal aliens, according to Greg Phillips of the VoteFraud.org organization.

Posted by Alex Jones on Monday, November 14, 2016


But VoteFraud.org denies any such claim and Greg Phillips is not affiliated with them. Where Jones got this idea is a mystery, but a safe bet is the parademon that lives in his attic secreted it into his head he was writing another psychotic manifesto about Obama’s use of weather weapons that create Tornados to kill red state people.

Now if there was voter fraud, you’d think the Republican Secretaries of State – who are in charge of the voting process – would agree with him. But they don’t and have basically told the Trumpster Fire to STFU.

Ohio’s Republican Secretary of State John Husted told CNN’s Carol Costello this.

“I responded … for Ohioans, to let them know we already have an investigation, or review as we call it, underway. In the past … we found less than a thousand cases of voter irregularity, less than a couple hundred cases of voter fraud, and zero cases of voter suppression.”

Ohio has 7 million registered voters so this is a statistically insignificant amount. Freaking out over it is like refusing to surf because you found out there’s one drop of Russian prostitute pee pee in the entire ocean.

Husted also said he doesn’t want no damn Feds snooping ’round the damn Buckeye State.

“I don’t think that federal involvement is important in this particular matter, because the states run the elections. We don’t want federal involvement in our elections, we want to keep this in the hands of the states — that’s where it should be.”

Since the GOP is all “States’ rights!” about everything (except abortion and gay marriage!) that makes sense. It’s also pretty much the only thing that makes sense in this entire story. Let’s not forget that Trump himself has fought to debunk allegations of voter fraud.

In a court filing trying to stop Green Party candidate (and election ruiner) Jill Stein’s petition for a Michigan recount, his lawyers wrote, “All available evidence suggests that the 2016 general election was not tainted by fraud or mistake.”

So there you have it. There is no voter fraud. Saying it or tweeting it doesn’t make it so. The only real question left is will anyone in the White House have the courage to speak the truth to the President, and when he freaks out over it will they do the right thing, resign and tell the country what an abso-f**king-lute nutbag he is.

Since we’re talking about Kellyanne “Goebbels” Conway and “Baghdad” Sean  Spicer, the answer is almost certainly no.

What Trump is trying to do with this distracting idiocy is anyone’s guess. But the logical conclusion is he’s setting the stage for enacting even harsher levels of voter suppression than already exist. Hopefully the negative media coverage of all of this will only cause him to dig in even deeper until he finds himself in his much loathed China, where he is unable to escape and destined to a life of working in a rice field.

Follow the author Sean Kent on Twitter – @seankent – and Facebook.